Have you ever had one of those days when you know exactly what a kind response would sound like—for someone else? You could offer her perspective, patience, and a reminder that one hard moment does not define her. Then you turn toward yourself, and suddenly the words are not nearly so gentle.

I think many of us have practiced caring for others for so long that we forget we are people who need care, too. Having wisdom to share does not mean we never feel overwhelmed, disappointed, or unsure.

Needing a little kindness does not cancel out everything we have learned.

Sometimes a difficult moment calls for action. We may need to apologize, change a plan, ask for help, or try again. But first, we can tell the truth about what happened without turning it into a verdict about who we are. “That was hard” leaves room to learn. “I am a failure” closes the door before we have even looked around.

Let’s offer ourselves self-compassion: the loving kindness that we would offer a small child or a beloved friend.

The Creator-based® Way invites us to breathe, notice where we are, and choose what we will do next. Compassion helps us make that choice without spending all our energy condemning ourselves.

B-minus is good enough, y’all—you have permission to make mistakes and feel all the feelings.

We can be honest and kind at the same time. What a relief! We do not have to win an argument with our inner critic before we take our next right step.

Every person we love has had a day when she needed understanding. That includes the capable women who seem to have everything figured out. It includes you. It includes me.

When I think about bringing my Creator into a hard moment, I don’t imagine I have to arrive with a polished explanation. I can just be me. Begin with a connection to Him: “This is so hard! Please help me to see clearly both what I need and what is mine to do.” Pause long enough to take another deep breath and quietly listen. Maybe the next step is a conversation. Maybe it’s a self-hug or a loving rub on the arm. Maybe it is rest or reaching out to make a small thing right.

Listen with your whole body.

Compassion is not pretending that everything is fine, and giving yourself kindness is not refusing to grow. Self-compassion gives us a powerful place from which to begin. We can acknowledge a mistake without telling ourselves we are the mistake. We can feel sorrow without relinquishing hope. We can receive care while still being the woman who offers it.

It’s safe to receive.

This week, if you catch yourself speaking to yourself harshly, pause. Would you say that to your bestie or to a beloved child? Simply try one loving, truthful sentence. See what becomes possible from there.

Creator-based® Tools

1. Name the hard moment. Write one sentence about what feels difficult. Describe the moment without calling yourself a failure.
2. Remember shared humanity. Remind yourself that needing care is part of being human. If it helps, think of someone safe who would understand, or reach out to her.
3. Choose a small kindness. Give yourself an ordinary bit of care—a quiet pause, a comforting, warm drink, or supportive company. Choose what actually suits you today. You deserve to be loved. You are good enough.

Pick the practice that feels useful. You don’t have to do all three, and you certainly don’t have to do them perfectly.

We can learn and begin again with compassion. (And again, again and again! Permission to be human, friend!)

All my love,

CMHCoaching.com