Passion, Selfishness & Creating Happiness.

Passion and intention involve focus. Consider: what would happen if you focused on the outcome you want, instead of the scary experience you worry about?

As a child, I was constantly being told I was selfish. To be honest, I probably was a rather insensitive, bossy child. I’m a big personality.  As I grew up, I learned more self-control and a little empathy, at least enough for civilized society. What lingered with me, however, was the accusation of being “selfish.”

As that childhood feeling blossomed and matured into a belief and ultimately a reality, I became more and more unhappy and afraid to express my needs. Being called selfish was my greatest shame. It is for many of us.

Then I grew up. I learned that having been taught that it was rude and selfish to keep trying to get what I want was only part of the story. Very happy and successful people never lose their ability to know what they want and go after it.  

My mental health and well-being come from focusing on what I want. Yours does too.

Does it sound selfish to you? Welcome to “civilized” society.

In David Emerald’s The Empowerment Dynamic, the main character, Ted, teaches a friend about something he calls FisBe. Not a frisbee you throw on the beach, but an acronym that stands for this:

F = Focus, is = Inner State, Be = behavior.

When our focus is on problems, our inner state is usually some version of anxiety, and our behavior is cranky, based in fear and scarcity. It’s not a happy place to live.


Consider, on the other hand, a focus on what you want to have happen…


When our focus is on a happy, envisioned outcome (think of a kid anticipating their birthday), our Inner State is happy. When our inner state is content or happy anticipation, our behavior is often creative, kind, and loving.


Focusing on what we want is a beautiful way to live. Don’t worry; someone is not going to pull the rug out from under you unawares. You will be sharper, smarter, and more productive as you focus on the good. It’s not selfish. It’s smart.


Your passion and intention to have an outcome you like will spur you to greatness.  And that, my friend, creates a beautiful life.


Here’s to focusing on the beautiful week before you!

All my love,




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Who am I writing for?

I write for every overwhelmed, discouraged, faith-challenged woman out there. I know your goodness and your capacity.


Why should you care?Because you were made for so much more! Stop playing small and embrace your true potential.


What do I want you to do here? I would love it if you kept reading, responding, and growing.


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Nobody has to suffer! We are here to help.

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