The Wisdom of Yielding

I had my youngest son when I was 41. He was our ninth and last child. (It was a good run, but ya gotta finish sometime!) Our oldest daughter was 21, successfully out on her own. Life was looking really good. We were in leadership in our community and church, had good jobs, happy kids, and good health—the works. I thought I knew everything there was to know. (That was nearly 25 years ago—imagine that ego!)

I had knowledge and confidence.

However, I was only beginning what would quickly become my wisdom path.

I thought that if I planned something and carried it out, success was assured. I only had to try hard enough. Then the learning season started.

When my son was six weeks old, my brother died. We took our newborn and flew to the funeral and experienced all that entailed.

Two weeks later, my oldest son was released from his missionary service. We flew there for a couple of weeks of celebration.

In those newborn weeks, we traveled all over the United States, ignoring all body signals to rest. After all, success was assured if I only tried hard enough.

During that season, I developed the worst stiff neck of my life. Looking back, it became a personal reminder: I needed to listen, honor my limits, and become more willing to bend.

That was the beginning of my wisdom path. I began learning to listen, honor, and bend—yielding and opening to life circumstances that held crucial lessons and would teach me if I let them.

I was beginning to understand acceptance.

Over time, we continued through our wisdom season. A few years later, my aging parents came to live in our home and stayed until they were finished on this earth. Six of our children were married before that youngest child was ten. It was a season of exquisite lessons.

I learned that I am not in control. I learned it kicking and screaming, but there were enough “learning opportunities” that I eventually began to understand.

I can control my personal outlook and the decisions I make about the circumstances unfolding in front of me. I have no real control of external circumstances. I have discovered I have light and truth within me, all the power I need to grow and progress. So do you.

Yielding control looks like lengthening my perspective, accepting what is in front of me with grace, and learning that I am the creator of my life experience in whatever circumstance presents itself.

I am an agent to act, not a victim to be acted upon. I am always free to choose how I think about something and how I want to proceed. This is ongoing learning, obviously. Permission to be human, friend. There are successes, mistakes, and chances to begin again.

This is the first CMH Coaching principle: “You are the creator of your life experience.”

That doesn’t mean I cause everything that happens to me. It means I can participate in shaping my experience through the choices I make, the support I seek, and my relationship with my Creator.

You can also learn and practice through your experiences, too. When something big and overwhelming comes up, pause and take a deep breath. (Studies prove that people who take a breath live the longest. 🙂 Connect to your Creator and ask for His help. It needn’t be big or fancy. He is always there to help you. All you need to do is ask. Then listen for peace and new thoughts. Choose a thought that feels right, and proceed.

Yielding control is actually quite liberating! You still get to choose your response, and you still get to make plans—but there is a softness that comes into your life, knowing your responsibility lies in you, not in saving the world.

You are the junior creator, apprenticing with the Master Creator. Take a breath and own that.

Move through life Creator-based®, Faith-fueled, and Joy-rooted. It’s an amazing way to live!

All my love,

Three Weekly Creator-based® Coaching Tools

1. Review what you carry. List one responsibility, one expectation, and one hope. Notice how they differ before deciding what to do.
2. Revisit an expectation. Choose one self-imposed expectation and ask whether it still serves your life. If others are affected, discuss a change rather than dropping a shared commitment.
3. Choose supported action. Name one next step and one person or resource you can ask for help. You do not have to do both today.