I am excited to share our Family & Relationships: ‘Peace in Diversity’ Series with you this Holiday Season. Over the next five weeks, we will explore the peace that comes from understanding that ‘different is not deficient’ and applying that principle to families and loving relationships. Compassion, mindfulness, hope, and a little faith can create more peace and happiness in your life.
#1 Creator-based® Circumstances and Calling Out
Have you ever been worried, sad, or felt like you were failing in a relationship or family circumstance? When you looked at the condition of your relationship, did you think it was subpar?
Consider the context or the lens through which you examined that part of your life. It’s easier to do when you look at a situation you have already resolved and are past, but you can use a current situation if need be.
What is the circumstance or situation you see? Name it.
What is the thought associated with this situation? Examine it.
Lately, I have had thoughts about our family that root back to me not being the Mom my kids needed when they were growing up. It’s not a profitable or productive thought. It leads down into a sad spiral and doesn’t end well.
My sadness spiral is like a whirlpool. It looks harmless from a distance- pretty and fascinating to watch, but as one approaches it, its strength will pull you into powerlessness. In this case, it begins with that little, interesting thought.
The answer to avoiding the sadness spiral is awareness.
Notice the thought before you get to the edge of the spiral.
We all have favorite thought paths. They are well-worn ruts (neural pathways) that, over time, are so automatic and routine that we may not even notice them.
To avoid being sucked into the sadness spiral, we must be aware of approaching the whirlpool.
That looked like recognizing the thought, ‘I wasn’t the Mom my kids needed me to be.’ and calling it out for what it is- a lie.
There is such power in calling out a falsehood about circumstances – try it! It’s liberating.
I was the Mom my kids needed me to be on their life journey. It was a step in creating a life for all of us. Born creators, we have the power to overcome and create, rising from perceived ashes and destruction through our creator power.
I have done the best I know. My parents and their parents before them did. Likewise, you are doing it right now, and my child is doing the same thing. It’s part of the human experience. We take the circumstance, choose to be a creator or a victim, and proceed accordingly. In the best circumstance, we give each other permission to be human.
When a thought causes you pain, name the circumstance, examine the thought and call out the lie. Choose to take ashes and create beauty every day. Soon you will see a life of beauty in those ashes and create peace in the world around you. You will be embracing your creator power!
Join us next week for our Family & Relationship ‘Peace in Diversity’ Series: Different is not deficient, a.k.a. Creator-based® Contrast
All my love,
CMH Coaching for Life