Have you or someone you love ever had an earache? They plagued me as a child. It was the worst pain I could remember at that young age. Long, frozen Michigan winters, plenty of time out in the wind and snow, and simply building an immune system as a child kept me in colds and their resultant earaches for years.

Then, there was the ‘stopped up ear.’ Argh! Feeling like if you could dig in there deep enough, you could pull out a big glob of whatever kept me from hearing. It made winters long and often frustrating. If you have experienced swimmer’s ear, you get that one.

What do you use for earache and stopped-up ear relief? In our family, the first thing we do is check for outer ear blockages. There’s not a piece of gum, a lego, or a ton of earwax in there, is there? Then we look for infection or irritation. We love warm garlic mullein oil in a sore ear- so comforting! We also love Hyland’s earache remedy. Both have helped us get more sleep on earache plagued nights.

What remedies would you use for an ear that was physically normal but still couldn’t emotionally or spiritually hear?  Well, in my morning quiet time, my Creator spoke and gave me direction on just such a subject this week. The advice given was, “Stop complaining against.”

What is “complaining against”? For me, it looks like finding fault in what was said, nitpicking, looking at the flaws in another’s behavior and second-guessing them, or simply grumping and looking for trouble. It happens to me when I am physically tired and uncomfortable and looking for a release from either that physical discomfort or the emotional discomfort of worry, fear, sadness, or loneliness. Anger is easier than sadness and loneliness. It makes us feel powerful, and criticism quickly leads to bitterness.

Now, mind you, I am not a vocal complainer (often, or without good reason, or when I’m energetic, happy, and feeling good -wry smile). I do, however, complain frequently in my mind. That leads to frustration, anger, or, the worst, pity parties. So, as I was seeking help spiritually and energetically, this message of “stop complaining against’ was clear and somewhat ruefully but gratefully accepted. My Creator has me pegged.

What would reverse the blockages or infection in spiritual hearing as well as those physical remedies we have counted on in our family for so many years? After telling me to ‘stop complaining against,’ my Creator came through on that one too- The counsel given was love, service, and support. Really? Not to be ungrateful, but I hear that all the time. Maybe, like the effective physical remedies, we could also count on these emotional remedies.

Unstopping Spiritual and Emotional Ears with Love

Love is the answer to every question.  Like the soothing relief of warm oil poured in an aching ear, comfort comes almost in an instant. However, the personal application of love can be nebulous and confusing when we are off balance and dizzy with complaints. I have found that loving myself is the first answer. And I don’t mean that ‘excusing lousy behavior’ love. I mean the loving self-compassion that affirms, “Yup, that sucks.” And “It’s hard,” and everyone has felt this way now and then. This kind of love acknowledges that ‘this is hard, but you are worthy and strong and can do it.’ Choosing from my #Creator-based®Comfort list and caring for my personal needs often changes my thought process, and ‘complaining against’ stops right then and there.  

Another helpful love practice is to walk a mile in the other’s shoes. This practice takes time and a little more effort than self-comfort, but putting yourself in the other person’s predicament can generate love and understanding, a level of empathy that is hard to achieve any other way.

Unstopping Spiritual and Emotional Ears with Support

Of course, the first thing we do with that sore ear is to look in it. Is there something in there? Maybe something needs professional assistance for removal. (Can you say bubble gum, legos and crayons? Been there.) Perhaps some warm water irrigation would dislodge the ear wax that has layered in and accumulated. It’s tough to irrigate or see inside your own ear. But every time, especially with ears, we need the help of someone else. A support person, if you will, a coach. Pride gets in the way of asking for help, but an earache is no laughing matter, and that kind of pain will get you open to assistance quicker than most.  Reaching out is not a sin. We are here in community on purpose. We’re here to work and help one another. Let yourself receive the help that will heal.

Unstopping Spiritual and Emotional Ears with Service

Giving gets the energy flowing.  When we sit and watch, it’s easy to see the minutia, criticize and ‘complain against.’ When we are in the thick of things, getting dirty with our peers, loving and serving, that energy flow increases exponentially.  Suddenly we are open to inspiration, direction, and moving forward.  

Your service may be as simple as a kind word on Instagram or a smile to a stranger. Perhaps it is deference to humor when confronted with an unkind remark. Maybe it is simply keeping the unkind remark you were thinking to yourself. Service can also be sending loving thoughts. Those thoughts bring light and hope whether they are vocalized or not. Those around you will feel them, and all will feel lifted.

What would having clear, unstopped ears look like for you? Hearing the goodness in your soul is a fantastic gift and will lift you to places you have never even dreamed of being. Here’s to creating light and hope, my friends. Let’s stop ‘complaining against’ and begin to bless those around us in small, cumulative ways that will change the world.

All my love, 


Certified Master Life Coach for
CMH Coaching for Life
Home of Creator-based Coaching® and the CBC® group experience.


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