There is so much joy in consultive camaraderie! Being with a friend or loved one can make a huge difference in your day. Now that we are coming out of the pandemic, we are seeing more of each other and it’s lovely, but we may be a little rusty at conversation and consulting.
Have you ever wondered how you could be better in conversation and support with a friend or loved one? You can create a nourishing environment that will feed both of your souls with a few simple steps.
First: Listen Well. That means speaking less than you listen, focusing on them and staying present. As you are fully present, you will create an energy and environment that nourishes you while supporting them. It’s a win-win.
Second: Believe their experience. We all walk through life with a personal filter, or a set of glasses, if you will. Those glasses may be rose-colored or gray. Everyone has their own experience and sees things in their own way. A good listener will believe that the experience their friend is sharing is a very real thing to them, and respond accordingly, with respect and empathy.
Third: Support them with compassion. As you believe and listen to your friend, staying present and focusing on them, you will feel compassion. Compassion is loving kindness. Keep some of that compassion for yourself while you’re there.
Fourth: Maintain your center. Empathy comes in two forms, cognitive empathy and emotional empathy. Stay separate, as your Creator’s instrument, supporting your loved one in thought, (cognitively) but cognizantly supporting yourself, not recklessly giving your heart away. You can feel it when you are taking care of yourself in a relationship. When I am taking good care of myself in my relationships, I feel strong but soft, and empowered yet humble and open. It’s a loving, capable feeling. Have you experienced that? It keeps me just separate enough to not be drained, and present enough to fully share, feel loved, and support my friend.
The most compassionate people have the strongest boundaries.
A boundary is not a bad thing. Just like the need to put your own oxygen mask on first in an airplane, you must take care of yourself in relationships as well. I love this definition of a boundary:
A boundary is the distance from which I can love both me and you simultaneously.
With some people a boundary could be sitting closely, and others it may be sitting states away- figuratively or literally. Just allow yourself to practice, love, and learn. You have all the time you need.
As we move into full summer, and enjoy time in “consult” with friends and family, we can practice listening well, believing their experience and supporting with Creator-based® compassion and empathy. We can maintain our center, loving ourselves and them from the space that is best for both of us.
If, as you move fully back out into the world, you feel the desire for a personal consult, we’re here for you, with one on one coaching or in small groups of 2-5. You would be amazed how supportive a group coaching experience can be. It’s a safe space with like-minded peers where you can learn, feel empowered, get great ideas and walk away with a fresh plan for life. It’s affordable, stress busting, and life creation at its finest!
Most importantly, a Creator-based® Consult is about engaging after the pandemic with real, live human beings that care, help and love one another. Get out there and try it. If you’re worried, join us for a session – we can help!
All my love,