The Doctrine of Change
This week we are considering the 5th principle of Creator-based® Coaching: Change is a gift. Sometimes change is great, like a surprise trip to Disney Land. Sometimes change is not so great and the pain it brings is real. As I write, our family is experiencing a season of change. 2021 brought several openings in our family organization- we had family members step away intentionally and unintentionally, leaving empty chairs at the table and all of the attendant opportunities for growth. Watching the disequilibrium and chaos of change leads one to consider, “What do we want our change practice to be?” Change is, after all, the only constant in life outside of our Grand Creator. We can choose today how we will approach it.
Talking with a friend this morning about change, I realized that our Creator has given each of us a customized learning curriculum in which each of us has enrolled. He provides experiences, labs, reading, peers, study groups, and support. Of course, it’s up to us what our class schedule will look like; choosing our personal viewpoint, and our attitude to our life lessons.
What kind of student were you at school? Were you an all-A’s competitor or perfectionist? Did you have some B’s, mixed reviews, feeling not good enough, or having fun? Did you receive lower grades because you just didn’t get it or had better things to do and ‘you can’t make me’? Your early school experience will give you some clues to evaluate your approach to later life experiences. Your day-to-day responses to the learning projects placed in your path will give hints as to your style as well. What is your go-to response to change?
Are you responding to change as a victim or choosing to create with the raw materials you’re given? Do you view these gifts as Triggers or Activators? Do you see them as controlling you or feel that you have a choice? What is real in your life?This is what is real-
Change Happens. There is no stopping it, however, you are forever gifted with the power of how you will respond. Will your response be acceptance in gratitude for the growth and lessons offered to you? Will you accept the offered course of education with zest and enthusiasm? Will you bring a willingness to learn or temper tantrums and rebellion?
You can set an expectation or an intention for how you will respond ahead of time, and decide now what your change practice will be. You can create a game plan for the activators that come into your life, and see them as the educational gifts they are.
Here are a few ideas for you to consider:
An activator is currently described in society as ‘something that really triggers you.’ Maybe it’s a tone of voice, your boss, a smell, PMS, or a cranky kid. Activators always have a root cause. Activators always have potential learning underneath. When you recognize an activator in your day, you might respond first in gratitude for the lesson offered. You might also respond by yelling and screaming and throwing things. See- you can choose! I have a mixed approach. But, when I plan ahead of time and practice on small activators, I am more successful in my response to the big ones. That success helps me in my life purpose, relationships, and overall health. It’s worth planning ahead.
Activators generally have roots in our past. Remember observing what your school approach was? Try this. What was modeled for you in your home life? This is another area that activators can be very revealing. The cool thing is though, that activators (and the change they bring) reveal to us areas we are ready to change, relinquish old beliefs and embrace something better.
That’s the message of the 50/50 Girl Club of which I am a member. Will you join me? It’s a coalition of women who recognize that within any given changing situation there is a gift. We recognize that whether it feels good or not, there’s a lesson and progress to be made through enrolling in the present, offered curriculum. Tears, laughter, anger, resentment, and joy are all part of the process.
#CBComforts make all the difference. What comforts you when you’re having a hard time? Make a list or a basket of your personal comforts and have it handy. You know that when you’re in a big study session, cramming for a quiz that you want snacks and this is no different. In learning life lessons we need #CBComforts.
And that’s okay.
Here’s the short form cheat sheet-
1. Start your day with intention and a quiet connection with your Creator.
2. Be on the lookout for activators in the changes you experience as you go through your day. Step one helps with awareness.
3. When you feel activated, respond first with love. (I know it’s hard but it’s so worth it.). Consider a #CBComfort.
4. Respond second with gratitude for the opportunity to practice. A wry smile sometimes helps with this.
5. Look for the root of the activator. What was the thought that created the emotion that generated this response? Using an AFT reset, sway test, or BFF to slide back into your Creator role will help here.
6. Take a moment of recognition when the root cause comes to you. Breathe girlfriend! This is so cool, and you’re doing it!
7. Choose your response, and maybe create a game plan with a friend. If you bring it to the forum, we can help you formulate a response – and would love to do that with you!
We practice with change in the good times and in the not-so-good times, and through grace, our continued practice will bring improvement and new learning. Change is a gift and so are you. Let’s accept those life lessons of change together.