Confident Connections Section 5
Hey friend,
How did it go with Flora? Did you get a chance to testify to her and help her out?
She can get so activated about things being perfect! It will be a great help for you to counsel her regularly.
Today I bring you two more Inner Critics to meet, Stephanie Storyteller and Negative Nelly.
Negative Nelly will bring up every time you didn’t have great experiences in the past.
She will remind you of the kid that kicked you in second grade.
She remembers the way you couldn’t get your work out when you were 12,
Her vivid memory epic fail in your high school speech class is permanent.
She will remind you of the freshman college class that you failed in helpless confusion (we never want to feel that again!)and
oh, she will never forget the D on your report card.
She will remind you of all the times your family teased and hurt your feelings,
She remembers when ‘they’ didn’t listen or understand you.
She keeps a list of all the ways you felt ‘they’ judged you and were hypocritical.
Nelly wants to protect you.
Nelly isn’t hard to please, though, really.
She just wants to be reassured and loved.
She wants to know she is safe.
When she begins with the list of perceived impositions and misunderstandings,
try these:
They were doing the best that they knew how at the time.
They were simply being who they are. I give them permission to be human.
What they think about me has no bearing on who I am.
I am whole, healed, and healthy. I am well.
I am loved and safe.
Nelly’s best friend Stephanie is The storyteller.
She’s my favorite Creative Critic.
Her imagination is boundless.
She can scare the socks off of you if you let her.
She is seriously talented- rivaling Stephen King!
When Stephanie gets going with her stories, it helps to realize that she is not a fortune teller.
Her stories have no predictive power.
We don’t know what the future holds.
We only have the ability to live in the present.
That’s where the real power is.
If your Storyteller starts telling you scary stories, the best solution I have found is to embellish them to the point of extraordinary. Add aliens and incredible beasts. Add adventure and extravagance. Then, remind your storyteller that
right now is where truth is.
And right now, you are safe, well-fed, and comfortable.
Stephanie, the storyteller may have issues, but you don’t have to.
You, my friend, are blessed with a sound mind and a keen understanding.
Use that to counsel your inner critics and watch your confidence in connecting with others increase!
We only have two more critics to cover, and you will be fully trained in Creating Confident Connections. More tomorrow!
