Confident Connections Section 3
Creative Critics #2, 3 and 4 The Doubter, the Worrier and the Imposter
Walter What if- what if I’m cooking dinner and the propane tank exposed, what if someone T-bones me in my car and that’s the end of me…
I like to fondly refer to her as a Doubting Donna, but I’m sure you have your own name for this inner critic.
My doubter, Donna, is often accompanied by a worrier. I like to think of them as a miserable old couple with Walter in his frumpy, beat-up easy chair and Donna making something horrible and stinky in the kitchen.
Together, they wonder in what appears to be a harmless way. They wonder if it will rain the day of the picnic or if people will like the things I write. They wonder if we will lose weight on that diet or if the car will break down on the way to the city next week.
You see, the doubter and the worrier are stealthy. They sound harmless and are seldom outright scary, but they plant these seeds of doubt and worry that slowly grow into a bramble patch to rival Sleeping Beauty’s.
The trick to help the Doubting Donnas and Worrying Walters is awareness.
If you have been practicing with your Centered Self, you know it can be a tricky process to stay present there, but as you continue to practice, your abilities with awareness of your thoughts will increase.
Awareness will allow you to catch Walter and Donna before that horrible stuff on the stove bubbles over into the rest of your life or the seeds of doubt sprout into full-fledged vines.
What do you think would happen if Doubt and Worry had a child? That would be like an inner critic on steroids! Well, sadly, it happened. They named her Imogene, and she is the Imposterism Inner Critic.
Imposter Syndrome or Imposterism is a compilation of doubts and worries about your innate worth and capability, and Imogene Imposter is overflowing with doubts and worries.
She may be perfectly qualified for her work, but she is so full of doubt and worry that her thoughts look something like this:
They’re going to find out I’m really not qualified.
Seriously, I don’t know what I’m doing.
They’re going to see right through me when I fail.
People like me don’t do things like this!
Seriously, I don’t know why they trust me- look at all of my flaws & weaknesses.
I am not good enough- they don’t know what they’re doing in respecting me.
Boy, if they could only see behind this confident mask, they’d disown me in a heartbeat!
Imogene believes that if you are not the best and/or perfect at something, you have no right to do it. I know that sounds crazy to you, but see, you know more because you have lived and learned so much more than she has.
No worries, you treat Imogene’s thoughts just like any other Inner Critic; with love and respect, and patience.
Teach them the truth.
You know stuff.
You have a superpower in life- it’s called being you.
No one else can do that.
Determine to share your unique voice with the world- it’s good.
Your Inner Critics are simply a part that was wounded earlier in life and is seeking, in its own warped view of the world, to manage life for you.
Girlfriend, you don’t need it.
You are so good at life already!
Meditation- or the art of simply being still and watching your body breathe for about 10 minutes a day, is remarkable at bringing awareness of your thoughts into being.
It seems counterintuitive, but it really makes a difference.
Try it for 30 days.
It’s only 10 minutes of quiet.
And it’s miraculous!
As you notice your thoughts, you can reroute or teach the ones that are not helpful by teaching. But what happens if you already let things get out of hand
and you have a full-blown inner critic, worrier, and doubter?
What if it’s way past time for awareness?
Here is a thought that has helped me and the ones I love.
Find the truth by remembering what you knew.
Remember when you felt like the conqueror on the mountaintop?
At some time in your life, I know you did.
Maybe it was on the Monkey Bars at the playground.
Maybe it was when you stood up for something you believed in.
Maybe it was a successful presentation.
Maybe it was falling in love.
You can find that again.
It’s there in your memory.
Remember what you felt and knew at that moment.
Remember what your body felt like – your heart, your mind?
Bring all of those feelings back to Donna, Walter, and Imogene.
Teach them what you knew about yourself in that experience.
Teach then you are strong.
Teach them you are resilient.
Teach them you are capable.
Teach them that you can do it.
Teach them that you are even better now than you were then!
You have so much more life experience from which to learn and grow!
Then clean up their kitchen- there’s a reason the food tastes so terrible when it’s cooked in there! Ick!
Can’t wait to share with you again tomorrow!