Different is not Deficient; Embracing the 50/50 Opportunity.
By now, you know that change is a gift. We tend to resist change in our current reality. Come with me for an experiment. Instead of leaning into the constancy we think we need, let’s imagine we are back in that perfect Las Vegas Buffet. See that plush furniture, ideal lighting, ambient, soothing sounds, and all the rich, delicious food you could ever want? This time it is permanent- day after day after day- week after week – year after year. I’m sure your natural self would love it for 48-72 hours, maybe even a week.
But then, what about seeing the sunshine? What about walking in the rain? Observing storms and droughts? What about swimming in the ocean and riding the crest of a wave? We would pine for more, ever so much more than the buffet- for change and for differences. Why? Because we are born for greatness- and CHANGE. Do you see how different is not deficient- but actually, different is good?
Releasing expectations: let it be easy.
Remember ‘Pain times Resistance equals Suffering’ from week one? When we deliberately lean into what is present, we release resistance and let it be easy. Sometimes expectations can bring resistance into our current experience in the same way.
When I awoke this morning, I expected hot water in my shower. There wasn’t. And the water that comes out of the ground here in early spring is FRIGID. First, I was irritated. Then I was exasperated. Ultimately, I used my tried and true technique of “What’s good here?” And released the expectation of hot water, adjusted the way I washed my hair, embraced the exhilaration of a cold hair rinse (it makes your hair extra shiny, you know), and finished up. Would I have liked the shower to be hot? Yes. Did I enjoy the experience of adjustment? Sort of. Is it great to be clean? Absolutely!
Now, I could have released all expectations and just rolled with it, but I’m not that Zen yet. I’m a 50/50 girl, like you. It does make one pause and consider- what would have been different without an expectation?
Less Blaming- yeah, I’m good at that.
Maybe avoiding exasperation altogether.
It would have felt much more effortless.
Consider- what are some of your expectations today? Are they helping you in your earth school experience or getting in the way of your happiness and growth?
Finding your balance.
A Creator-Based® Cadence is all about finding your balance. You get to decide the cadence of your life. Okay, so maybe you want to argue with me on that, but really, even with those three littles under the age of 6, you are still in control. Promise. You always get to choose. And with those choices, you can create the cadence of your life.
Through the thoughts you create and the decisions you make, you determine the cadence of your days. Will they be fast-paced or leisurely? Will they be in fits and spurts or small, consistent steps? You get to choose- schedule or no schedule? It’s all good.
Remembering your unique life purpose and circumstances, spend some time thinking this week about your natural cadence. At what pace do you feel best? What would your natural rhythm look like? Make a few notes. Put it out there to the Universe. Things will begin to change. You were born to create this. It needn’t have expectations, and it can be easy. Think about it and let it go for a while, anticipating the good changes that will come. Stay open and mindful and respond to change as you feel directed, but don’t worry. It’s all good.
Have you ever tried to do a tree pose in yoga? Standing on one foot with the other one tucked up into your thigh, arms overhead like a tree? I’m a pretty wobbly tree, but three things help me with my balance in that pose—focusing on a singular point in the distance, believing that I am good at balancing, and grounding myself into the earth.
This week, pick one of these and practice it:
Practice perspective. Look out long, long-range and ask yourself, does this matter? Why? What would change if I chose differently in this situation?
Remember how good you are with change! You have been practicing for 25 years or more by now. You have adapted to size changes, language changes, family changes, educational challenges- you even managed to teach yourself how to talk. That was a huge change! Remind yourself how good you are at growing and adapting, and embrace the change you have become so adept at.
Ground yourself. As an introvert, I think of grounding in the sense of being a belligerent teenager. It gives me great delight to think of being alone in my room for three days. That’s one way to get grounded. Another is to vividly feel the support you are receiving from the earth, the air, the sky, and everything around you. Look at the supportive relationships you have, the help of this group, and the serendipity that led you here today to read these very words. You are guided and supported always.
Practice perspective, change, or grounding this week. And observe Cadence.
Waiting on Yourself Exercise
Patience Grasshopper. This exercise is taken from the monthly reading. It’s in Dr. Germer’s book on pg. 35.
“We usually attend to others- what they’re feeling, saying, and doing. It’s rare that we wait on ourselves with equal care and consideration. Let’s try that now. This exercise takes only 5 minutes. You can’t do it wrong.
Choose a quiet place, sit comfortably, close your eyes, and notice what it feels like to be in your body. Just be with the physical sensations in your body as they come and go, without choosing to pay attention to any particular one. If it’s a pleasant one, feel it and let it go. If it’s an unpleasant one, also feel it and let it go. Perhaps you feel warmth in your hands, pressure on the seat, tingling in the forehead? Notice those sensations as a mother would gaze at a newborn baby, wondering what it’s feeling, just notice whatever arises, one sensation after another. Take your time.
After 5 minutes, gently open your eyes.
If you feel so inclined, journal about your experience. What do you think about releasing your expectation and embracing wonder? Di you learn something new? Remember, it’s all perfect. You are right where you are supposed to be, learning what is perfect for you to learn as you create your one, awesome, amazing, perfect life.