Confident Connections Section 7

Our last Inner Critic is The Classic Not Good Enough Chick, Sally Sadness. You might know her by other names, Rita Rebel, Tine Take Care of You, or Look at me Lucy. We all have our own Inner Critics that try to protect us by “Not Good Enough”. Flora Flawyer may even be involved in this for you. I know she is for me.

You will disappoint them. 

They will be ashamed of you. 

You just asked for forgiveness for this and screwed up again. 

You’re not entitled to ask forgiveness now. 

You won’t be able to keep up.

People like you just don’t do things like this. 

Connection is dangerous for people like us.

She will remind you of all the times you have felt not good enough, 

and pat herself on the back for how well she did her job keeping you out of 

what she thought would hurt you. 

She will scare or worry or intimidate you into staying away from anything like that again.

Sally doesn’t mean harm. She is a much less experienced part of you that has formed inaccurate beliefs. Take the time to teach her that

I am loved.

I am safe.

I have been loved in the past and will be again.

I am enough just the way I am.

I bring a unique light to the world. 

There are things that only I can do- by being me.

I am welcomed, wanted, and deeply loved.

I am enough.

Try it. 

Tell this part of yourself how special and talented you are for your work here on the earth. Feel her unwind, slow down and become grateful.

Love your inner critics. 

They are working hard to protect you from perceived danger. 

You can counsel them and teach them. 

They are each from an earlier time in your life. Y

You know more now than you have ever had before. 

You have so much more life experience than your critic. 

You have wisdom and answers to share with her. 

Take some quiet time and explain where you are now to your critic and help her understand that you appreciate all she has done for you but that you’ve got this. 

Then create a new relationship with each critic as they present themselves to you. They will each show up at the time that is most effective for this to happen. 

Recognize their good intentions and desires to keep you safe and unwounded. 

Thank them. 

Help them to attain that which they have been seeking for so long. 

Did they lose something in their situation that you can help them to find again? When they are fed, loved, and clothed in security, much like a toddler in her jammies, they will go quietly off to rest.