So, it’s time for true confessions. My husband and I were moving through a very busy day. We were each working on individual projects and totally in the flow. He came into my office, sounding somewhat short. He was focused on something else and just needed this one thing real quick. I responded in what I thought was an acceptable way—all while being completely preoccupied with my own work.
Suddenly, there was a shift. The air was afire with contention. I was totally confused. Had I not responded clearly and concisely? What had I done that offended him? And more than that, why was his response so rude?
Leave it to my kid to watch, learn, and clarify. I turned to him, looking for justification, of course… and in absolute wonder, he said, “It was like you two were speaking two completely different languages!”
So much for justification. His response nailed it.
Neither of us had been present. We had each brought our words to the conversation, but neither of us had brought our attention.
There is truly power in being present. Presence—bringing your mind to where your feet are—can bring clarity, connection, and confidence. It can also help us catch misunderstandings before they blossom. It is a compassionate, unselfish choice we can make for those we love.
I didn’t do it that day.
Just so ya know, I apologized—as did he. We talked over each other as we apologized and made up quickly. Permission to be human, y’all. But what if I had chosen presence to begin with?
Our presence is a gift we give to others. It does not require a quiet mind. We can pause, look up, and bring our attention back to the person in front of us.
In the Creator-based® Way, we often ask, “What’s your focus?” This is because where your focus is, your power goes.
So friend, I want my personal power to go toward good. That means practicing presence while I’m walking to the mailbox, writing a blog, or talking with someone—even when giving that person my attention takes a little extra grace. We are all God’s children, so we try. 🙂
This week, before you answer someone, try taking one breath and giving them your attention. And if you need a moment, say, “Let me finish this thought so I can listen.”
Focus is a gift you give. Sometimes it begins with simply looking up.
all my love,
Beth
Creator-based® Tools
- Pause and look up. Before responding, take one breath and turn your attention toward the person speaking. If you need a moment to finish a thought, ask for it, then return your attention to them.
- Listen before offering. In one ordinary conversation, let the other person finish. Reflect back what you heard before offering your own idea.
- Bring your mind to where your feet are. Choose one everyday activity to practice presence. Notice when your attention wanders, and gently bring it back to what you are doing.
